Tonight I have come one step closer to "sync heaven" I followed most of the advice from Puramu at ITtoolbox I did everything but use isync to sync my phone to iCal (the needed plugin was $15) which I didn't feel like I truly needed since goosync did what I wanted and over the air.
The setup goes something like this: (this is my personal setup so check Puramu's post for the orginal setup that may work better for you)
-I have iCal subscribed to my Google Calendar - I can see my appointments on iCal but can't make changes to it. (I am basically using that just to get alarms and see it on my desktop without having to open a browser) if you want to the two way sync between iCal and Google Calendar check out/purchase spanning sync
-I'm using goosync which is free to sync between the phone and Google calendar, its easy and over the air (so I don't need to bluetooth sync it with isync, I can easily add stuff on my phone and sync over the air to my Google calendar which will then automatically update iCal)
This setup works for me because I enter most of my meetings while on the phone and on the go but if you are more of a desktop jockey you may need spanning sync and the isync plugin.